Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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