Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
