WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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