it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
