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i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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