remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
