grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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