I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
