we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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