i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
