turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
