it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just want nice things and good sex
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
