You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
