how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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