And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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