I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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