Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
