I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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