I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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