we're blogging at a bar
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
