You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
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Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
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I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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