Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
