I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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