I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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