Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
