walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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