Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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