How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
