just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
