handjob tips. give me some.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
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