Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
