Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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