mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
