eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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