I should be sponsored by Trojan
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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