Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
