I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
