Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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