you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
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He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
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Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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