Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
thus making me awesome and them whores
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
