everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
