I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
