i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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