WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
