Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
