your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
