Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize