Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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