What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
false alarm. still invincible.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
