I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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