I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
