So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
