1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
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i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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