I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
my poor anus
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
