im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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