Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
