...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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