I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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