I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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