a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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