Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
