im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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