she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
