My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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