Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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