tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
