yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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